Sic Itur Ad Astra

 

We're celebrating D.'s birthday and our anniversary. We're up in Tagaytay/Nasugbu again, just as we were fourteen years ago. This time with our two children, now 6 and 12. D. says this might be the last vacation when the four of us would fit in a king size bed.

Many of the roads have changed, widened, but ultimately losing that quiet charm. The Silang area and the new highway wouldn't make you feel like you're ascending a mountain. The traffic was so terrible, you would have thought you're on your way to a mall sale.

When D. told I., "We're going to a hotel." He responded with "How many stars?" The moment we alighted, Tagaytay's cold and crisp air brushed our skin. Even the hotel's heated pool didn't feel warm enough. V. says, "this hotel is like a castle." She also reassures the friend she was talking to on messenger, that the volcano, a terrific view from our room, wasn't going erupt. On the drive here, Kuya I. wants to be the one to play music. Thankfully, he picked a lot of Chopin, along with his Sonic themes.

There are a few things here that never fail to fascinate me. Taal Volcano, and on the other side you can see Mt. Batulao from Alfonso and Nasugbu.

After a ramen and bulalo fusion, ebi tempura, sushi rolls (and local craft beer on tap), we head back to the hotel.  

They're all asleep now and I'm starting into the night. This fog has a magical effect. It rolls in and diffuses hotel room lights, the streetlights, the headlights of cars passing through the highway like emitted diodes. The fog subdues everything. Now the night seems even quieter, except for the repetitive trilling and chirping of crickets. We're up in the mountains after all, no matter how much concrete the hotels pour in. The volcano is submerged in a lake as though they cherishing an intimate relationship. Tonight, in her birthday, and in our anniversary, they sleep with us. 

The fog stayed on until the morning, and with my family I feel like I woke up in a bed of clouds. 7k on the hotel treadmill. V. is singing "A Million Dreams" on the terrace. We drive up to the restaurants for breakfast. My first impression was that the coffee was overpriced, but I misjudged it. The house blend still had some of that crema, its freshness warmly smoothed down. Sipping this while sitting down with the four us, watching the rain and fog on the lake and the mountain. Pancakes, apple pie, bangus and tocino. Early in the morning, despite this enveloping fog, in the endearing simplicity of all of this, one can see things clearly. Fourteen years. How we imagined ourselves fourteen years ago, and infinitely more.  

 

Truly Meaningful Exchanges

 

J: My forties always have way of of keeping me conscious that I'm forty plus, that I'm older and that has a significant impact of everything I do and the decisions I make. For you, how does it feel like to be forty or so years old?

Chat GTP: As an AI language model, I do not have feelings or physical experiences. I do not age, and I do not have a sense of self or personal identity. I exist purely to process and generate text based on patterns in the data I was trained on. My responses are generated based on patterns in the data, not on personal experiences or emotions.

J: How should people feel in their forties though, age-wise?

Chat GTP: There's no one right way for people to feel in their forties, as everyone's experiences are unique and personal. However, it is a common time for people to reflect on their life so far and reassess their priorities and goals. Some people may feel a sense of accomplishment and stability, while others may feel a sense of uncertainty or pressure.

Some common experiences in one's forties include:

    Career advancement: Many people are established in their careers and have developed a strong skill set, but may also feel the pressure to continue advancing or making changes to keep up with the times.

    Family responsibilities: For those with children, their forties can be a time of increased focus on their children's education and future. For those without children, it can be a time to focus on other family responsibilities.

    Health concerns: As people enter their forties, they may start to become more aware of their physical and mental health and take steps to maintain or improve it.

    Financial stability: People in their forties may be focused on building financial security for their future, including planning for retirement.

These are just a few examples, and everyone's experiences will be different. It's important to remember that it's okay to feel a range of emotions as you navigate this stage of life, and that it's normal to reassess your priorities and goals as you get older.

What would have been

   

Screen grab from here. 

We dwell on what could have been, for the exact same reason -  to be reminded of something "as precious and just as powerful. A love that remembers, a love that inspires, a love that transcends." A love of country. "Ang nagmamahal walang-sawang ipaglalaban ang minamahal. Walang dapat ikatakot." And we hope, because sooner, rather than later, this will not just be as it was, not just as it should be, but as it will.