Weary or Wise

Books. How they remind you how to both think and feel.

Running. How it proves that pain is conquerable, that you you can overcome. Sometimes even with ease.

Pantheism. How we are everything. How our boundless joy is just as terrifying as endless sorrow.

If a younger or a wiser man read Siddhartha (Herman Hesse) earlier in life, perhaps he would have sat under a tree and contemplated upon asceticism, Buddhism, critiquing modernity, loquacious living or the misinterpretation of religious teachings. He would have dug deep into the whys with full use of his faculties. Probably getting many things wrong.

Jairus, 37 years, sees himself as the ferryman. He's listening to what other people are saying, he wants to listen to what the river is saying. He's hasn't quite figured it out yet.

I still fancy highlighting some beautiful annotations.I am still fascinated by words, but I don't think I'm any wiser now. But I'm just certainly less tired.

The Rumbling Inside

a volcano burns
all the bottled up what-ifs
spewing it all

When my loved ones are asleep, it's terrific to be back in this island.

I dig up time capsules with the help of blue note jazz, grunge, chillout. I travel to contemporary Egypt by way of a book. I drink one drink that won't get me drunk.

I discover more of who I am, in this river that keeps changing. Now that I managed to rid my life of so many stresses, I don't want to spoil myself. Do more for D., for V., for I. For others. For my country. Yes, I think of them in this island.

I look at what I have, it's not so much. But how I love it all. How I'm no longer rumbling with the what-ifs.

(Undelivered) Groom's Man Speech

from the viber archives

I stand here alone, but I also carry the many well-wishes from where I come from, friends and relatives who love J. like a brother, and who would given M. the warmest welcome and best wishes on this most special day. When he was young, J. has taught me many things. He also shared his toys, his family computer, and we shared many experiences that taught me about life. He has always shared his happiness, and that it is possible to live life while having so much laughter. Because of M., J. is the luckiest person we know.

J. and M. find themselves here today, on the threshold of a new life in which their destinies, which began in different parts of the world, are about to be entwined for the rest of their days.

 Enjoy each other, J. and M. Enjoy the rest of your lives as you have enjoyed this day.