20 Things I Would Have Told the 20-Something Me

1. Cheap perfume is an absolute waste of your money. 

2. Listen more. Speak less. Write always. 

3. Books are the finest version of people. It's more rewarding to stay with them. 

4. No, you've never been there and you've never done that. 

5. People with money are just lucky. 

6. Quit smoking earlier. 

7. Get life insurance and a memorial plan earlier. 

8. Stock-up on books. You'll need bigger bookshelves. 

9. Don't buy DVDs. The digital copies will be eventually free. 

10. Back-up your MP3 collection and physically list down your playlists. Don't rely on iPods. 

11. Notebooks and fountain pens will not be out of fashion. But a Moleskine is overrated and overpriced. There will be classy-enough knock-offs. 

12. You will need a good coffee press and manual grinder. You overrated drip coffee.

13. Marriage and children are the best things that ever happened to you. 

14. Don't buy cheap shoes. A good leather, high-quality pair can last you a lifetime.  

15. You will acquire too many jackets and sweaters. 

16. Your razor does not need four blades, not even three blades. 

17. When running, apply Virgin Coconut Oil to areas where chaffing occurs. 

18. Discipline yourself to stop at four drinks. 

19. Run some more. The 30-something you ran stronger. 

20. You lost a lot of money paying for the interest of a 5-year car plan. 

My Intense Fragility, Vaguely

The occasional trouble with being happy is that it makes you complacent. It makes you wane, it makes you unprepared for misery. Your skills in handling conflict, your competitive spirit flats out. The danger of being happy is that you no longer yearn for a heightened sense of power. A paranoia grows inside you like a tumor, balling up into a fear that you will lose the joy you've been clutching tightly. Perhaps it's also selfish, because even without a sense of righteousness, how can I remain with my one joy while others live in constant disharmony?

We will perish. We will all prune, we will wither, but we will live this way all over again. We dwell on the reasons why, even as our wick runs out, we seek out and share kindness. While I have been sad, I have been more than fortunate, and I have not failed to carry out what I see as my duty. 

Harnessing an inner strength requires constant seeking and re-definition. I've already found my core reasons to live. I've recognized my fragility, but I will not slide down to thinking that I am less stern.

These Scattered Pieces

My sweat drips profusely and I'm still catching my breath after running a 5:47 4k at the treadmill. Tremendous, even after 470ml of black Sumatra coffee earlier this afternoon and a slice of classic chocolate cake that I could barely finish. This morning, after 9 years of wanting to watch it, we finally saw the Cinemalaya hit 'Endo' on iFlix (for free on my 30-day trial). D. and I gushed so much, we love each other even more. Spotify plays Ceejay Sagarino's Home Away From Home. I sway with it. My smart watch distracts me with a notification and it says I hit another perfect 5-5-5 survey at "work?" I'm paid less, but I never felt so rich, even talented. I run almost 3 times a week, read almost 2 books a month, finish TV series and films like they were breakfast. After so many years I finished a short story. Maybe I'll finish a collection before I'm forty. I drive I. to work everyday and we play games about the periodic table of elements, tell stories, race to the gate when we get home. But the best part of the day is when you giggle when I tell you good morning. And when you cried so much, I hushed you. You slept my chest while I recited poetry with its powerful yet quiet efficacy. I caught another love that is better than romantic, as if my heart will not feel another depressed beat.

Oh and I just finished hanging the laundry at 130am. Before I sleep tonight, I will whisper to their ears, don't worry about the future.