June 2001

I have become an official bum. I have been removed from that life of complacency called College.
My name is Jairus Jason, Slacker Incarnate.

Two weeks ago they let me wear a toga and attend a ceremony to bid an end to what is by far, the golden age of my history. Wearing a toga was wearing a cloak of high expectations. It was the day that I felt no confidence, no eagerness to accept the promise of a bright future offered by a meaningless occupation. My ceremonies reminded me of the kid who, by closing time, reluctantly leaves the toy section of some department store. It was a sad remembrance, a somber reflection of a world I’m required to leave behind.

All the disappointment in the world didn’t stop me from enjoying the delightful dinner with my family. I am eternally grateful to my parents for affording my education. I’d like to thank my parents for the priceless, love and kindness to pay for my tuition and support my allowance throughout college. Overpriced as it may seem, I did buy a lot of ideas to chew. I learned things that, seemingly, would help me propel my way through life. I gained the gladdest of experience of being college: reading the books, having a booze binge, lighting a light, listening to records, gong places, making out and scoring with, becoming one of the diligent students --- and getting everything at my parent’s expense. I was so genuinely delighted at dinner, I was practically a glutton. I think I had a subliminal inclination to die of bangungot that night. I waited for it to arrive. I could’ve called it quits with life. Twenty years would’ve been a fair deal if I looked back to how fucking content was I during College: which is now only a memory that glows so brightly as if it were a diamond cut by brazen fire. Both my brothers asked me for a drink, but I just had to sleep this off.

The painful irony was that everybody was congratulating me.